The past....
I recently ran into someone from my past. It is so funny to call them that because for a while, they were the most integral part of my life. They were my first call when something nice happened, the first person I turned to when I needed a shoulder to cry on. Be it my phone or my messenger, we were constantly in touch. And before anything else, he was my best friend.
Suffice to say that things ended badly between us and we weren't in touch for the longest time. In the beginning, I was angry. Hurt. Disappointed. But as time went by, I remembered the nice memories we had. I had by then immersed myself in my world and was lost to a world where "we" existed. As time went by, he crossed my mind once in a blue moon. It was often to wonder what he was up to, if he would talk to me if we ran into each other, if he still laughed at the same things. But I guess these were questions I never would have an answer to.
A week ago, I actually did run into him. Since things had ended so badly for us, we hadn't spoken in close to nine years. I could see that he didn't recognize me. If he did, he was pretending not to. I had two choices. To go up to him to talk to him. Or to pretend like I hadn't seen him. I knew then that if I didn't talk to him, I would always wonder what he would have said had I gone up to him to talk to him. And so, I put on my big girl face and went up to him to talk to him.
What happened afterwards is irrelevant. Whether he spoke to me or snubbed me, whether we had a great conversation or he put me down, it mattered not. What mattered was that I did not have to live with another what if in my life.
I had two choices at the moment. I could either walk away....or walk up to. I made the choice I could live with.
Suffice to say that things ended badly between us and we weren't in touch for the longest time. In the beginning, I was angry. Hurt. Disappointed. But as time went by, I remembered the nice memories we had. I had by then immersed myself in my world and was lost to a world where "we" existed. As time went by, he crossed my mind once in a blue moon. It was often to wonder what he was up to, if he would talk to me if we ran into each other, if he still laughed at the same things. But I guess these were questions I never would have an answer to.
A week ago, I actually did run into him. Since things had ended so badly for us, we hadn't spoken in close to nine years. I could see that he didn't recognize me. If he did, he was pretending not to. I had two choices. To go up to him to talk to him. Or to pretend like I hadn't seen him. I knew then that if I didn't talk to him, I would always wonder what he would have said had I gone up to him to talk to him. And so, I put on my big girl face and went up to him to talk to him.
What happened afterwards is irrelevant. Whether he spoke to me or snubbed me, whether we had a great conversation or he put me down, it mattered not. What mattered was that I did not have to live with another what if in my life.
I had two choices at the moment. I could either walk away....or walk up to. I made the choice I could live with.
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