Dear Caesar,
After the longest time, I sat looking out the window, staring into the garden. It reminded me of the times we both sat on the swing and I hugged you and starred into the dark night. Having you next to me while we swung in the huge open space underneath the starry nights made it all okay. No matter how hard a time it was, having you with me just made it so much easier.
And I tried so hard to feel better yesterday. I swung my legs so it would feel like I was sitting on a swing. The moon was beautiful and so was the weather. But there was nobody next to me to hug. Especially not you. And it didn't make me feel better.
I always said that when someone died, you should like your life in such a way that they would be proud of you. You would most definitely not be proud of who I have become today. You would probably not recognize me at all. But I am stuck in a rut and I can't seem to move forward. I need you to come down from heaven for just one day and nudge me with you cold, wet nose.
I've always believed that we carry a part of those that matter to us. I did. I was loyal, I loved unconditionally and I was always there. And although I am carrying all the important ones with me, I feel like I've lost myself.
The swing was dismantled after your death. And God took away my anchor too when he took you away. I have lost myself too and I need you. I need your unconditional love, your loyalty, your wagging tail and your hugs.
After the longest time, I sat looking out the window, staring into the garden. It reminded me of the times we both sat on the swing and I hugged you and starred into the dark night. Having you next to me while we swung in the huge open space underneath the starry nights made it all okay. No matter how hard a time it was, having you with me just made it so much easier.
And I tried so hard to feel better yesterday. I swung my legs so it would feel like I was sitting on a swing. The moon was beautiful and so was the weather. But there was nobody next to me to hug. Especially not you. And it didn't make me feel better.
I always said that when someone died, you should like your life in such a way that they would be proud of you. You would most definitely not be proud of who I have become today. You would probably not recognize me at all. But I am stuck in a rut and I can't seem to move forward. I need you to come down from heaven for just one day and nudge me with you cold, wet nose.
I've always believed that we carry a part of those that matter to us. I did. I was loyal, I loved unconditionally and I was always there. And although I am carrying all the important ones with me, I feel like I've lost myself.
The swing was dismantled after your death. And God took away my anchor too when he took you away. I have lost myself too and I need you. I need your unconditional love, your loyalty, your wagging tail and your hugs.
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