Rains....
As I sit here, my fingers dancing across the keyboard, I can
hear the pitter patter of the rain outside. Sometimes it is just a drizzle and
sometimes it feels like the city will drown in the rain. The thunder comforts
me today for some reason. It makes sense that thunder follows the rain. I
actually listen more keenly for the thunder now.
It also reminds me of you. Because sometimes I wanted to
drench myself in the rain. To just go out, soak my soul in the rain and let it
wash away my problems and my stress. To be a little kid again. And sometimes I
just wanted to enjoy it from afar. I didn't want to mess it to mess my hair or
clothes.
The rain also reminds me of you because of the intensity of
the rain. It rains heavily sometimes and sometimes it is just a spray of water.
It rains sometimes and it stops and lets the sunshine through after a while. Sometimes
it comes when we are expecting it and other times it is just so unexpected.
The rain reminds me of hot chocolate, of long drives with my
favourite songs and of us. Of who we used to be.
Today, it rained. There is no hot chocolate, no long drives
and no rain on my face. Today is one of the days when I find the thunder
comforting, the rain can only be heard beyond the closed windows of my room.
Comments
I read this post the very day you posted it but I have been busy with work to leave a comment. After i read this post, it rained a couple of times in Hyderabad and the thunder reminded me of your post :) I felt like rushing to my laptop opening it and leaving a comment that I was thinking of your post then! :P but i had to focus on my work, i am preparing for an exam , so...
The last few months (and the last 2 years) have been really stressful for me... I lost a close friend, not just a close friend, she was my BEST friend...because of some misunderstandings. I miss her a LOT and the other friends that i have, though they really CARE about me and I care about them, they don't really GET ME... they don't get my madness, my way of doing things and WHY I think the way I think... they call me an OVER-THINKER, make a joke out of it , we don't enjoy the same things, we are very different form each other but in the end we CARE ABOUT each other and we stick along no matter how different we are. I had to always explain myself to them because they never understood me unless i explained it to them... there came a point when i decided to stop doing that. I stopped explaining myself to them n just let it be. I stopped expecting them to enjoy the things I did and I started to enjoy the things they liked for that little time I spent with them and... my thoughts? i kept them to myself. I miss my ex-best friend a lot! its been 3 years now…
And over the last 2 years, which have been very stressful, i started enjoying the Rains much more. These are a few feelings I associate with the rain:
1. I dont know whether to call it a co-incidence or probably because there was not a single moment that I was totally care-free over the last 2 years that every time it rained , I felt it was the PERFECT TIMING, like the Rains UNDERSTOOD me when i was having a bad day, while my friends and the rest of the world was unaware of my problems, my feelings , my thoughts, .
If something was bothering me I would discuss it with my best friend, now I do not have her and the others who care for me don’t get me. . .so i feel lost and then it RAINS all of a sudden !!!! :) :) :) it makes me feel like the NATURE is listening to me!!! :)
Just like how the rainfall SETTLES the dust, they settle all the stirred up emotions n leave a calm and a clear mind. They remind me of Celine Dion's :
" Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new sun
A NEW DAY has come " :) :)
In that process I lost my best friend among other things. That is when i realised how powerful Nature was and how things always do not go as planned. I wanted to believe that there was a higher power and there was a reason why things happened the way they happened. My problems seemed VERY HUGE to me THEN. But then came the winds, blowing fiercely right before the rainfall , the fierce nature of the wind was comforting for some reason! The fierce nature of the wind reminded me that Nature is VERY powerful. These tiny droplets of water in the for of a drizzle , with which you play with on some days can become fatal in the form of a flood, the sun that you enjoy sun bathing in can cause you a heat stroke, the lightening that is wonderful to watch or listen to might kill you if you are at the wrong place….
MIGHTY NATURE, STRONG AND POWERFUL! It made me feel like a very INSIGNIFICANT creature, that could be wiped away form this planet any minute and that we live at the mercy of mother Nature. It made me feel SO INSIGNIFICANT that my problems also seemed very insignificant :) It felt good to listen to the wind roaring , the rain pouring and the lightening that shook me with a jolt, it felt good feeling insignificant… :) that is what the rain does to me, makes me feel so thankful for giving me another day on this beautiful planet and makes my problems feel so insignificant that i start feeling better (for a short while at least ) :)
3. But a while later , after enjoying the UNEXPECTED rains sitting in my room , suddenly i think of the people who sleep on the footpath, they weren’t PREPARED for this, how will they be able to enjoy the unexpected rains like us? It makes me feel guilty for indulging in the UNEXPECTEDNESS of the rains!
Maybe they do too, who am i to say its a painful to them just because i would not enjoy if i where in their place… To some its a curse and to some its a pleasure. I hope everyone gets to enjoy the rains equally! That would make me feel less guilty for enjoying the unexpected rains while others struggle for shelter!
I like the perspective of how the rains affect others who are not as fortunate as us. Interesting. Never thought like that. But I feel they find joy in the smaller things and are so much better off than us. They are more helpful and are truly grateful for what they have. And so much more deserving than we are.
Here is what you should do every time you want to cheer yourself up. Go to an ice cream seller, those that sell them on the road...buy two ice creams. Or 5. Eat one. Ice cream makes you feel better. And then give one to the ice cream seller. I don't know if they get to eat one themselves. Randomly hand out ice cream to others and the joy on their face is contagious. I promise you it will feel amazing :-*.