The kind of girl I am
You asked me what sort of a girl I was.
What could I tell you?
I could tell you that I am the kind of girl that once had a wall full of photographs. Now all that is left are the nails that once held the photographs. The photographs still exist. Just not on my wall. Times changed and the people in the photographs changed. Relationships changed but the walls remained. It hurt too much to look at the photographs. And so they are gone. I could replace them with photos of the people in my life now but I know that I will always look and see the photographs from the early days. So I leave the walls blank. That is the kind of girl I am.
I have a closet full of clothes, some of them are dresses. Really short dresses and skirts. I leave them in the closet because it makes me very uncomfortable to step out wearing them and having people stare at me like a piece of meat. They look at you up and down and give you a one-sided grin. I know it's not my fault. I know it's them who needs help. My head says one thing but the sinking feeling in my stomach says differently. So the clothes lie in my closet, too pretty to be thrown out, too short to be worn. Sigh. Maybe on a vacation some day. That is the kind of girl I am.
I cry at movies. And when I read books. I always have a favourite character in them. I love their friends and hate their enemies. I let out a silent whoop when the hero wins. I cry when the girl leaves her home after she gets married, I cry when someone dies but I cry the most when an animal dies. I love singing the songs out loud and chewing cheese popcorn while I watch the movie. I love movies which can make me laugh but I love movies which make me cry even more. That is the kind of girl I am.
Two shelves in my closet are occupied my make-up items. Most of them are perfumes and body mists. I love some smells more than the others. I can never completely finish a smell. I have almost empty bottles lying in the shelves. I like a smell until a better one comes along. And oh, I love mens perfume more than the girls perfumes. I am that kind of girl.
I can't stay away from my phone for more than an hour. I get a mini-heart attack every time I am almost out of battery. I can't live without checking bbm updates and whatsapp status messages once a day, at least. I have to let my girls know when something important happens, preferably over bbm. Pictures, voice notes, emotions, all of it can be used to convey what I am feeling. Checking my phone the first thing in the morning and last thing at night is the kind of girl I am.
The list could go on for ever but I have to go. I have to rant and vent about the recent gang rape case in Mumbai. Because you know, every crime against a girl angers me. It pisses me off when men talk about taming women, about teaching them a lesson for going against the Indian culture or blaming them for the length of their clothes. Such stories make me feel scared, for myself and my friend. But it also makes me see red. Because that is the kind of girl I am.
What could I tell you?
I could tell you that I am the kind of girl that once had a wall full of photographs. Now all that is left are the nails that once held the photographs. The photographs still exist. Just not on my wall. Times changed and the people in the photographs changed. Relationships changed but the walls remained. It hurt too much to look at the photographs. And so they are gone. I could replace them with photos of the people in my life now but I know that I will always look and see the photographs from the early days. So I leave the walls blank. That is the kind of girl I am.
I have a closet full of clothes, some of them are dresses. Really short dresses and skirts. I leave them in the closet because it makes me very uncomfortable to step out wearing them and having people stare at me like a piece of meat. They look at you up and down and give you a one-sided grin. I know it's not my fault. I know it's them who needs help. My head says one thing but the sinking feeling in my stomach says differently. So the clothes lie in my closet, too pretty to be thrown out, too short to be worn. Sigh. Maybe on a vacation some day. That is the kind of girl I am.
I cry at movies. And when I read books. I always have a favourite character in them. I love their friends and hate their enemies. I let out a silent whoop when the hero wins. I cry when the girl leaves her home after she gets married, I cry when someone dies but I cry the most when an animal dies. I love singing the songs out loud and chewing cheese popcorn while I watch the movie. I love movies which can make me laugh but I love movies which make me cry even more. That is the kind of girl I am.
Two shelves in my closet are occupied my make-up items. Most of them are perfumes and body mists. I love some smells more than the others. I can never completely finish a smell. I have almost empty bottles lying in the shelves. I like a smell until a better one comes along. And oh, I love mens perfume more than the girls perfumes. I am that kind of girl.
I can't stay away from my phone for more than an hour. I get a mini-heart attack every time I am almost out of battery. I can't live without checking bbm updates and whatsapp status messages once a day, at least. I have to let my girls know when something important happens, preferably over bbm. Pictures, voice notes, emotions, all of it can be used to convey what I am feeling. Checking my phone the first thing in the morning and last thing at night is the kind of girl I am.
The list could go on for ever but I have to go. I have to rant and vent about the recent gang rape case in Mumbai. Because you know, every crime against a girl angers me. It pisses me off when men talk about taming women, about teaching them a lesson for going against the Indian culture or blaming them for the length of their clothes. Such stories make me feel scared, for myself and my friend. But it also makes me see red. Because that is the kind of girl I am.
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