Myself
I like to introduce myself as an Indian. Then as a girl. Followed by my family name and then my own name. In that particular order. I believe that being an Indian and a girl are my strengths. And my family name is a weakness. Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. But in a country which claims to be secular, my family name is used judge which religion I belong to, my name to differentiate me between a Hindu and a Muslim.
I grew up being made to feel special because I was a girl and my family has always encouraged me to do what I wanted to do, putting me on par with my brothers. What pains me though is that it’s not true for every family. And things have not changed even in the most modern families including my own. It’s true that women are working, and leading companies and organisations. But its also true that families still worry about when the girl would get married, about what she wears, its still the girl that the society judges, punishes and also the girl against who most autocracies and crimes and committed.
So as I grew up, the imaginary world crashed around me. Everything I was taught seemed to be a lie. And literally.
When I was about eight years old, my first tooth broke. I ran to my mother crying. She hugged me and sat me down to explain how my tooth had broken so the tooth fairy could take it and leave me presents. She told me to put it under the pillow and the next morning I would get something I really wanted from her. I put my broken tooth under the pillow and slept. When I woke up the next morning, I rubbed my eyes. And then I remembered what my mother had told me. I looked under the pillow and true to the story, there was a present for me. This continued till most of my milk teeth had fallen. But as I grew older, I realised that tooth fairy didn’t exist.
The next time my tooth broke, I told my parents that I wouldn’t put it under my pillow because the tooth fairy wasn’t real. But when I went to bed, I started crying and decided to put my tooth under the pillow just the same. But the next morning, there was no present. I had grown up.
While I was disappointed, as I grew up, I realised that a lot of things that were true when I was younger turned out to be a lie as I grew older. Be it the fact that everyone was equal, or how every child was loved. I was one blessed child. I didn’t experience any life changing experiences, or have any life shattering moments, but there have been a lot of things that have disappointed me and made me question what I was told, what I believed in.
Yes, I have grown up, but I feel I was better of as a child.
I grew up being made to feel special because I was a girl and my family has always encouraged me to do what I wanted to do, putting me on par with my brothers. What pains me though is that it’s not true for every family. And things have not changed even in the most modern families including my own. It’s true that women are working, and leading companies and organisations. But its also true that families still worry about when the girl would get married, about what she wears, its still the girl that the society judges, punishes and also the girl against who most autocracies and crimes and committed.
So as I grew up, the imaginary world crashed around me. Everything I was taught seemed to be a lie. And literally.
When I was about eight years old, my first tooth broke. I ran to my mother crying. She hugged me and sat me down to explain how my tooth had broken so the tooth fairy could take it and leave me presents. She told me to put it under the pillow and the next morning I would get something I really wanted from her. I put my broken tooth under the pillow and slept. When I woke up the next morning, I rubbed my eyes. And then I remembered what my mother had told me. I looked under the pillow and true to the story, there was a present for me. This continued till most of my milk teeth had fallen. But as I grew older, I realised that tooth fairy didn’t exist.
The next time my tooth broke, I told my parents that I wouldn’t put it under my pillow because the tooth fairy wasn’t real. But when I went to bed, I started crying and decided to put my tooth under the pillow just the same. But the next morning, there was no present. I had grown up.
While I was disappointed, as I grew up, I realised that a lot of things that were true when I was younger turned out to be a lie as I grew older. Be it the fact that everyone was equal, or how every child was loved. I was one blessed child. I didn’t experience any life changing experiences, or have any life shattering moments, but there have been a lot of things that have disappointed me and made me question what I was told, what I believed in.
Yes, I have grown up, but I feel I was better of as a child.
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